Every time I pass a car in a parking lot and see a dog sitting in the driver’s seat, it makes me smile. Sometimes said dog seems impatient or unnerved. They bark, jump, try to stick their head out of the crack in the window. Other times, said dog is calm, maybe even content. They sit straight up, look ahead, and almost seem to be smiling. I can’t help but think that dog is enjoying being in the driver’s seat (instead of in the back seat) for once!

The last time I saw a dog in a car, it occurred to me that, as humans, we’re not always in the driver’s seat ourselves—especially when it comes to our careers.

Too often, we look at work as an outside force, dictating the way we live our lives. Yes, most of us have to work for a living, and somehow we’ve been programmed to believe that’s a necessary evil—that it’s can’t be something we actually derive meaning and enjoyment from.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

It’s so easy to get caught up in the “I should” trap. You know, the one where the narratives in your head go something like this:

“I should just go to work and suck it up. I’m not the only one feeling drained at the end of the day.”

“I should stick it out for the paycheck. After all, that’s why you work, right?”

“I should just count down the days until my next vacation, holiday, or retirement and be grateful.”

The problem with these stories is that you’re telling yourself work is just WORK. You’re accepting that it’s not meant to be enjoyable. I couldn’t disagree more. Work absolutely can be fulfilling when you take the time to rethink, realign, and reengage with your career.

4 Ways to Break Free from the “I Should” Trap

Challenge Your Career Narrative

Maybe it’s time to take the driver’s seat and ask yourself some hard questions.

Instead of saying, “I should,” try asking yourself, “Who says?” 

Consider where the expectations you feel you have to live up to come from. Are they based on your own personal values? Or have they reared up from external pressures? Reframing your perspective can help you move toward something that aligns with your definition of success, not the one society has handed you.

Experiment with Small Changes

I get it—making a big change can feel overwhelming. If that’s the case for you, start by testing small shifts in your current role.

Is there a skill you’d love to develop? A project you’re particularly passionate about? Looking for opportunities to take small but intentional steps toward something different can give you clarity and confidence before making a big move. For more ideas, check out our blog, Give Yourself Permission to Explore Without the Pressure to Commit.

Surround Yourself with Possibility Thinkers

It’s easier to break free from limiting beliefs when you’re around other people who are willing to challenge them.

How often do you find yourself huddled with colleagues or friends, lamenting about your job or ruminating about a change? And how often do those conversations lead to action? Step away and connect with mentors, coaches, or peers who encourage you to think bigger. Join communities (like our group coaching cohort) where others are actively engaged in rethinking their careers.

Give Yourself Permission to Want More

If you feel guilty for wanting more out of work, remind yourself:

Desiring fulfillment doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.

Changing paths doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

You are allowed to redefine success on your own terms.

I know this kind of work isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes courage to face the reality that perhaps you’ve been comfortable riding in the backseat. I know because I’ve been there myself! There’s nothing wrong with comfort, but comfort doesn’t always allow you to live your best life—a life that includes a job or career that allows you to share your talents and gifts in the pursuit of something more than just a paycheck.